Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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