if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His hands were made for my vagina.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
