my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
