It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
