Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
