I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
