There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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