i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
