is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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