If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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