we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
