dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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