its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
