Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I am naked and annoyed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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