i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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