I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
