yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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