we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
