i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
