I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
