I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
