took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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