I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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