where am i from again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
