you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
