Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
