why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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