cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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