but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
