4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize