I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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