Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
