I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
