i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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