Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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