somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
