Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
