Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize