Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
