I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize