I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
now i know why i became what i already was.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
