I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
