capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No subtext here. People are naked.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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