Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize