I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
