I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
