They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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