some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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