I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
