i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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