She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
