i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
