the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
