I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
where am i from again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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