We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
