There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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